Friday, June 15, 2007

A Heartache too Familiar

I have to start out by saying that this blog entry seems a bit harder to write. I find myself in an all too familiar spot.  Grief, loss and tears have become a way of life it seems these past few years.   

Sam and I have just experienced another season of grief.  This one seems harder than the others.  Probably because of the time and resources we poured into trying to get pregnant this time. The 'getting pregnant' part was a success.  The 'staying pregnant' part was unsuccessful.  

I feel like David probably did when he was writing his Psalms.  I feel like I could write my own psalm that cries out to the Lord saying:

Answer me in my time of distress
Take away the grief
Wash my tears and see the cry of my heart
Send your mercy and grace
Lean your ear towards me
Have you forgotten the promises you have made?

But, just like David, I can't end with the anguish and despair.  I have to end my Psalm as David models. So with my hands high in the air, this is what I exclaim:

Yet, even still I will praise You
I will bless your name and call you faithful
I will celebrate and rejoice in the days to come
I will lift my eyes to You and seek Your face
I will declare that God is good all the time.


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