Friday, March 7, 2008

I'm Ron Burgundy?

This post is not like any of my other serious posts. I need a break! On one of our trips to TN, we discovered that one of the many things we have in common with Emily is our love for the movie (and the quotes) of Anchorman. Emily sent us this email and I thought I would share!

Sweet Grandmother's Spatula! Things I Learned From Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy...

.:If you have many leather-bound books and your apartment smells of rich mahogany, you are kind of a big deal. If you are kind of a big deal, let people know about it.

.:You aren't co-workers. You are co-people.

.:If you look good, make sure everyone comes and sees how good you look.

.:Women don't belong in the workplace. Their menstruation attracts bears. That puts everyone in jeopardy.

.:Make sure you have suits so fine they make Sinatra look like a hobo. A voice that makes a wolverine purr wouldn't hurt either.

.:Littering just leads to pain.

.:Looking at objects in the room does not mean you love them.

.:Jumping straight up into a bear pit is a decision you will immediately regret.

.:Dont allow Audrey do your makeup. You will have bags under your eyes and look like hell.

.:Don't add anything to the teleprompter that shouldn't be will get read!.

.:San Diego was not discovered in 1904, and does not mean a whale's vagina in German. There's no way that's correct.

.:If you want to bag a classy lady, just give her two tickets to the gun show.

.:You may not always be able to shout something from the top of a mountain, so a news room and a camera will also do.

.:If you kill a man with a trident, you might want lay low for a little while.

.:The best way to express your inner anguish is through the majesty of song.

.:It's not love if you don't even know her name...that's off to a bad start.

.:The worst way to get a girl is to tell her you want to be on her.

.:Incidentally, the best way is to play the jazz flute.

.:Listen to your dog, he's wise like a miniature Buddha covered in hair. Even if he does speak Spanish.

.:You can't do interviews with live bears, they will literally rip your face off.

.:I don't care if you want to take her out for a nice seafood dinner, leave the mothers out of it.

.:Don't mess with Jack Johnson or Tom O'Leary.

.:It's okay to miss work if you are in a glass case of emotion.

.:Don't let the guy who can't think give you directions. He'll lead you straight into a bilingual bloodfest. Fantastic!.

.:Giving a disillusioned fan some money out of your wallet will not ease the pain.

.:Never ever even consider buying your suit at the toilet store.

.:Don't arbitrarily use a saying, especially if you have no idea what it means. i.e., When In Rome, Do As The Romans Do.

.:If you want to get invited to Ron's Family Band touring the countryside, never insult his woman.

.:Leave the hair and face out of it.

.:Don't hold that celebrity golf tournament again. Too many people died last year.

.:Don't check the dictionary for your name.

.:The very best way to summon your friends is by conch shell.

.:If it has bits of real panther, you know it's good.

.:On a hot day, milk is always a bad choice.

.:Don't ditch your friends' monthly pancake breakfast for some new fad called yogging. I don't care how wild running for an extended period of time may be.

.:Fiberglass insulation is not cotton candy, no matter what that guy says...and your tummy will itch.

.:The best way for a man to get out of a spiritual and existential funk is not to go to the zoo and flip off the monkeys. It is to buy new suits.

.:Diversity is not an old, old wooden ship used in the civil war era.

.:Telling your beloved city to go f&%^ itself is never in your best interests.

.:It really can get worse than that time the raccoon got into the copier.

.:Desire never smells like a used diaper filled with Indian food...not even to some people.

.:It is Anchorman, not Anchorlady, and that is a scientific fact.

.:It's boring, but it's my life. WHAMMY!

*These lessons will make you an overall classier person, guaranteed. They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.


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