Friday, September 5, 2008

Marked by Promise

I have been reminded of God's promises lately.  

I have spent most of the last four years clinging to a promise. Consumed by a promise. Living for a promise. 

The promise of a family. The promise of a child. 

Some days seemed quite unbearable. Quite hopeless. I had this emptiness inside that only a woman longing for a child can understand. 

But through it all - the pain, the grief, the questions - I continued to build my faith knowing that I serve a God that fulfills promises. 

Sometimes all I could mutter was, "I judge you faithful." [Just like Sarah did in Hebrews 11:11].

Sometimes all I could express was, "God nothing is impossible for you." [Just like Mary in Luke 1:37].

Sometimes that is all I had to give. A simple word. A simple phrase. But, it wasn't simple at all. It was a deep and gut-wrenching cry from the depths of my soul.

As I continued to claim God's promises for my life and our family I became stronger.  It wasn't a matter of if we had a family, it was a matter of when we had a family.  

During this time, I allowed the promises of God to strengthen me. I claimed it. I spoke it. I declared it.  Believing, hoping and trusting that in God's perfect timing He would provide this child I desperately desired. 

One of my favorite quotes from a Bill Johnson [ibethel.org] book says this:

"Expectation has everything to do with what you receive from God."

I expected God to fulfill my hopes and dreams.  My desires and destiny. 

Marked by promise.

That is what God has taught me through this journey.

We are all marked by promise. God has a destiny planned and blue print already drawn up.

So I continue to pinch myself. Every day. Every moment. Max is my constant reminder of God's promise fulfilled.




5 comments:

four4now said...

This is amazing....and true.
Thanks for making me tear up - yet again.

Anonymous said...

Jen that was really encouraging. God has truly blessed you for being faithful to Him. I am so excited to meet Max this week! ~Joy

Becky said...

Ugh. Ugly cry attack! Thanks for the reminder. :o)

Anonymous said...

Jen you are truely amazing!! Your strength through this whole journey is inspirational! Thank you for sharing much of your life I didn't know about! And of course making me cry tears of joy for you and Sam!! I hope to be able to meet Max someday! Best wishes... Miss you guys! ~Shanna~

Anonymous said...

That is awesome. LOve your blog. Max is beyond adorable. Cara